Wazza Said So!

The United Fanatics' blog

Exclusive : An interview with the Angels of Football

Posted by unitedfanatic on November 15, 2009

football1_5International break is now underway, and what better opportunity than this to get to interview the true guardians of football (No, not the FIFA/UEFA/FA. And you’d be a nutter if you thought the AIFF). The REAL guardians. A distinguished member of the fair play wing, the Congregation of Angels for Integrity in Football, or CAIF, consented to take some time off from his busy schedule.

W: Greetings, Holy Sir. How are you doing and what is keeping you busy these days?

A: Greetings, mortal soul. We have been really busy with our work, what with a lot of events going out of control and football coming into disrepute.

W: What events ?

A: A lot of them. Look at the FA. Making a mockery of things. They are only eclipsing some of the players in the fraudometer, to be frank, but they have become habituated to that and its time for us to take care of them (chuckles). Then the CAS. Lifting the ban on Chelsea and taking a U turn on a rightful punishment. It is shameful to do a U turn on your doled out punishments. We have been busy in balancing the scales of justice and meting out the necessary punishment to the offenders for their deeds.

 

W: There exists such a thing? You mean to say that you take care of the theory of karma ?

A: Yes.

W: But .. that is unbelievable! People get away with things in football all the time!

A: That’s how it seems like to you! Mourinho got what he deserved and packed off to stinking italy! He’s a joke with my italian colleagues. Look at Gerrard. Gets the dives and decisions in his favour. We say let them win the game! Won’t fetch them the title anyway. The “Barclays Home Win” competition is a bit of a bother, though.

W: I’ve always believed in karma. Please give me more such examples.

A: John Terry (You really didn’t think he slipped on his own while taking a certain penalty, did you?). Carlos Tevez. Emmanuel Adebayor. Didier Drogba. Do I need to tell you in detail?

W: Not really. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. It all falls into place. But tell me. What about the referees? You only mention managers and players.

A: The referees too, are taken care of. You have to see what Tom Ovrebo goes through on the local. Taxi drivers refuse to take any tip from him. For Wiley, Atkinson and Co. we dole out the embarrassment treatment. Atkinson’s son reprimanding him is a big enough punishment, to be honest and you would understand that only if you had a son who you love a lot.

W: You were saying something about taking care of the FA?

A: (Chuckles) Yes. We will be taking care of them at the World Cup. Into the last 8, win bonuses for the team and manager, and we will deliver the boys back to the FA. But hush. Don’t you go blabbing.

W: Your views on Sir Alex?

A: One great man. His position amongst us is imminent. Nothing I say about him is enough.

W: Its great to know you respect him! I’m amazed. Did it have anything to do with you, him getting off with merely a two match touchline ban and a £20,000 fine recently?

A: (Laughs) You think so? (winks)

W: Well, of course I do! Your message to all us lesser mortals?

A: Football is a natural sport. You wouldn’t find Adam and Eve cutting wood to make a bat or digging holes in the ground to put(t) in stones. It is a blanket of warmth under which humans need to unite. Forgetting colour, race, and creed, Cut across it and blend with others. And that is the true spirit of football. Also, the importance of fair play. Although, should anyone cross the line, leave them to us and we will keep them in check. Be strong! Be gentle. Be passionate. Be United (Pun intentional).

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One Response to “Exclusive : An interview with the Angels of Football”

  1. Vishal said

    Correction:
    1. There is No U turn on the chelsea ban .. the ban has been put ‘on-hold’ till the courts can hear the case .. its like jailing someone till u find out if he really is guilty or not ..

    2. Why are u after wiley? Simply coz SAF criticized him .. he was fine in the game really .. SAF was only blowing off some steam for a undeserved draw .. !

    It isnt really a angel .. the ‘guardian’ of football really .. there are so many more flaws and bias ..

    Finally .. joke or not .. Mourinhos winning .. He did that in prem league .. and hes doing that in Serie A now .. If the winners a joke .. then well .. 😛 😛

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